No audio on Pulseaudio/pipewire on Xubuntu 26.04

Question

When I start up Xubuntu, my audio profile is automatically switched to digital output because it believes analog stereo is "unavailable" and the front headphones are unplugged (they aren't) and even when I manually set these settings, I get no sound, despite PulseAudio control panel showing activity in the volume indicator. There are no other audio output sources active.

Window showing analog as "unavailable":

Window showing analog as "unavailable"

Window showing headphones are "unplugged":

Window showing headphones are "unplugged"

Audio source that's showing audio, but doesn't come out of my headphones:

Window showing an audio source that is showing audio, but doesn't come out of my headphones

Output of wpctl status:

PipeWire 'pipewire-0' [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, cookie:2529966601]
 └─ Clients:
        43. pipewire                            [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:20280]
        68. LibreWolf                           [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:16236]
        72. xdg-desktop-portal                  [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:5146]
        80. WirePlumber [export]                [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:21518]
        85. WirePlumber                         [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:21518]
       104. Chromium input                      [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:24985]
       116. Nightly                             [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:22342]
       135. wpctl                               [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:26070]
       154. xfce4-pulseaudio-plugin             [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:5399]
       180. PulseAudio Volume Control           [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:8540]
       185. pipewire                            [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:20280]
       203. Blueman                             [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:6435]
       224. Betterbird                          [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:2]
       234. SDL Application                     [1.6.2, cobradile@cobradile-Xubuntu-PC, pid:2]
 
Audio
 ├─ Devices:
 │      63. PCM2900C Audio CODEC                [alsa]
 │      73. Starship/Matisse HD Audio Controller [alsa]
 │     131. TU104 HD Audio Controller           [alsa]
 │  
 ├─ Sinks:
 │      71. Starship/Matisse HD Audio Controller Analog Stereo [vol: 0.40]
 │  
 ├─ Sources:
 │     107. Starship/Matisse HD Audio Controller Analog Stereo [vol: 1.00]
 │  *  236. PCM2900C Audio CODEC Digital Stereo (IEC958) [vol: 1.00]
 │  
 ├─ Filters:
 │    - loopback-20280-13                                           
 │      64. input.loopback-20280-13                                      [Stream/Input/Audio]
 │      99. output.loopback-20280-13                                     [Stream/Output/Audio]
 │  
 └─ Streams:
        39. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             36. monitor_FR     
             79. monitor_FL     
            103. input_FR        < ALC887-VD Analog:capture_FR  [active]
            227. input_FL        < ALC887-VD Analog:capture_FL  [active]
        48. SDL Application                                             
             95. output_FR       > PulseAudio Volume Control:input_FR   [active]
            222. output_FL       > ALC887-VD Analog:playback_FL [active]
        55. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             41. input_FL        < SDL Application:output_FL    [active]
             75. monitor_FL     
            123. input_FR        < SDL Application:output_FR    [active]
            124. monitor_FR     
        97. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             74. monitor_FL     
            130. input_FR       
            138. input_FL       
            163. monitor_FR     
       108. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             67. input_FL       
            140. monitor_FL     
            151. input_FR       
            238. monitor_FR     
       156. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             58. monitor_FL     
            125. input_FR        < loopback-20280-13:output_FR  [active]
            155. monitor_FR     
            170. input_FL        < loopback-20280-13:output_FL  [active]
       159. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             50. input_FL        < ALC887-VD Analog:monitor_FL  [active]
            127. input_FR        < ALC887-VD Analog:monitor_FR  [active]
            137. monitor_FL     
            177. monitor_FR     
       160. PulseAudio Volume Control                                   
             37. monitor_FR     
             46. monitor_FL     
            106. input_FR        < USB AUDIO  CODEC:capture_FR  [active]
            152. input_FL        < USB AUDIO  CODEC:capture_FL  [active]
 
Video
 ├─ Devices:
 │      90. UNKNOWN/GENERIC                     [v4l2]
 │  
 ├─ Sinks:
 │  
 ├─ Sources:
 │  *  207. UNKNOWN/GENERIC (V4L2)             
 │  
 ├─ Filters:
 │  
 └─ Streams:
 
Settings
 └─ Default Configured Devices:

What do I do?